Why is it so hard to fall asleep?!?

Last night I struggled to fall asleep, more so than usual. It normally takes me 45-60 minutes to fall asleep. Yes, that’s a long time. Yes, I’m working on figuring out what tricks work to help me fall asleep faster.

I love sleep. It makes a big difference in how well my day goes. A good night’s sleep also makes a difference in how much my body physically hurts the next day. If I get a restful 8-9 hours of sleep, then it dramatically reduces the amount of full body ache and random nerve pain I experience. I also have the energy to do more than one errand, clean house, and other stay-at-home cat mom tasks.

Why do I have trouble falling asleep? I think it’s a combination of my depression, anxiety, and PCOS. The better I am at managing them, the better I usually sleep.

How do they impact my ability to fall asleep? One of my biggest problems is getting my brain to stop ruminating. It can be so determined to fixate on an upsetting, embarrassing, or shameful memory from any point in my life. Learning some basic meditation techniques has helped some in breaking my brain away from those memories and focusing on the here and now.

I’m sensitive to light, noise, temperature, and touch when I’m trying to fall asleep. Those can also make me a light sleeper once I do manage to nod off. Light is managed by wearing a sleep mask. I keep two in my bedside table so if I misplace one somehow, I can easily find another one to use. I keep one in my travel kit as well.

That travel kit contains earplugs, too. I find those are more necessary when I’m not at home because I usually manage to tune out the ambient noise of our neighborhood as I’m used to it. However, I do keep some earplugs in my bedside table for nights like last night where I’m more sensitive to noise than usual. When I seriously struggle to fall asleep, any noise can grate on my nerves.

Temperature is always a struggle for me. I normally start off the night overheating under the blanket. That’s why I have to have at least part of a foot sticking out from under the covers, even in the dead of winter. Depending on how bad the overheating is, up to a leg may have to be uncovered. Once I do fall asleep, I get cold and have to be completely covered up.

Year round I use a blanket. Just a flat sheet is too light. I need a certain amount of weight on me. This causes more problems during the warmer months. Last night I struggled with getting the balance of enough blanket covering me to how uncovered I needed to be so I didn’t overheat. I think it may be time to look into those weighted blankets that claim to be cooling or something like that.

But if I need a certain weight on me to sleep, what do I mean by touch being an issue? Well, I can’t have any person or cat touching me while I’m trying to fall asleep. I love cuddling my girls at night. Tavi will lounge on my chest and Parker will make biscuits on my legs. But once I put down my book and turn off the light, I need them to get off me. Their weight, body heat, and restriction of my movement keeps me awake. Same if my Sweetie drapes an arm over me. My brain becomes focused on those sensations and won’t switch off.

I did eventually fall asleep around 3 in the morning. I know this because I saw the time on the DVR when I gave in to Tavi pestering me for breakfast. I knew if I didn’t get up and feed her and Parker, they would not leave me alone enough to fall asleep. I feel no shame in caving to their demands. My need for rest was too great at that point.