What are Bad Brain Days?
For as long as I can remember, I have lived with Depression and Anxiety. Over the years I have gotten better about dealing with their impact on my life. Sometimes it took the help of medication and talking to a licensed therapist. Right now both are usually at levels that consistent self-care keeps them manageable.
However, yesterday was one of those days where Depression and Anxiety were determined to eat my brain. Instead of ramping up the self-care, I let myself be paralyzed by hopelessness. I had to force myself to eat a Lara bar for breakfast, but then gave up on eating anything else. Mostly I slept or lay there starring at the ceiling. I tired reading more of Hope In the Dark, but I couldn’t focus for the life of me.
What is a Bad Brain Day exactly? It’s when my thoughts go into a downward spiral and I struggle to pull myself out of it. It’s when my Depression and Anxiety symptoms act up so badly that I’m lucky to get dressed and feed myself. Thankfully they’re a rare occurrence.
I first heard Bad Brain Day used by Jes Baker, AKA the Militant Baker. I follow her blog, Instagram, and Facebook. Her work in the Body Liberation Movement is what drew me to her. But it’s her frank talk about her mental health struggles and PCOS that made me a big fan. Definitely go check her stuff out.
When my Sweetie texted to check on how my day was going before they headed off to the gym after work, I was honest and let them know I was depressed. They blew off the gym and came home instead. Sweetie knows I love drives in the city, looking at old neighborhoods that we might want to live in someday. So that’s what we did.
They took me to dinner at the little cafe in Lombardi’s Seafood when they found out I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. It was nice to have someone take care of me and encourage me to take care of myself. Also, the grilled salmon basket is amazing there. When nothing else sounded good to eat, the thought of that salmon made my tummy rumble with hunger.
Today I’m working on making a Self-Care List to help me on future Bad Brain Days. So far I have: go swimming in our neighborhood pool; color with crayons in one of my children’s coloring books; play with my makeup collection; drink a cup of herbal tea; and play with the cats, especially the laser pointer. I’ll keep this list someplace it’s easy for me to look at whenever I might need it.
What would be on your Self-Care List?
